Marriage is supposed to be exciting! When executed perfectly, it should bring us joy. That doesn’t mean it will never bring hurt, pain, or disappointment. Those types of experiences will come along with any and everything; however, marriage is not designed to be an eternal place of misery. If your marriage is miserable, chances are you are struggling with one or more of these marriage mood killers.

1.“Di-vision”
We are all familiar with what division looks like. When you break it down as two words, di and vision, you see that at the root of it division represents two visions. A house divided against itself cannot stand. When we try to operate with two separate visions in our homes, we set ourselves up for failure. It is pertinent that both spouses come together to develop a unified vision for the home, and both work collectively to achieve it.

2. Insecurity
Insecurity is a culprit that destroys many marriages. Sometimes it is a by-product of a long-term battle with rejection and low self-esteem. Other times, it is a direct result of the irresponsible behavior of a spouse. No matter the origin, insecurity must be dealt with in order for the marriage to succeed. Each spouse must own their part in securing their spouse, as well as learning how to love themselves.

3. Jealousy
We know what you’re thinking. How can spouses be jealous of one another? It’s more common thank you think. When couples don’t truly know and understand the revelation of the two becoming one, they continue treating each other as individuals. In doing so, it becomes easier to compare achievements and shortcomings, and to covet what the other person has. This is why it is important for a healthy couple to see themselves as one. There should be no competition in marriage.

4. Secrecy
Transparency is a vital key to intimacy in marriage. It creates a close bond between spouses. When secrecy is present, not only does it create barriers to true intimacy, but it also prevents your spouse from loving the real you. Eventually, when secrets are exposed, it also impairs trust in a relationship. In order for a relationship to be healthy, you must learn the value of transparency and truly open up to one another.

5. Lack of Communication
How can you know one another if you don’t talk to one another? Communication is the cornerstone of building anything of value. Without communication, there is no clear direction on where you have been or where you’re going. A lack of communication can also trigger all of the aforementioned things: division, insecurity, jealousy, and secrecy. There’s no success in being in a relationship while continuing to function as if you are on your own.

Your marriage can and will thrive. You just have to find a way to get rid of the mood killers.